Betrayal Does not Get the Final Word

Betrayal has a way of shaking everything you thought was secure—your trust, your identity, even your sense of purpose. But what if betrayal is not the end of your story?

In this opening episode, Lois Flewelling invites you into a powerful reframe: betrayal may have wounded you, but it does not have the authority to define you. With honesty and compassion, she begins unpacking how the pain of broken trust impacts the heart—and why staying stuck in that pain was never God’s design for you.

This episode will stir hope as you begin to see that healing is not only possible—it’s your invitation. You’ll be challenged to consider what freedom could actually look like in your life and take your first step toward reclaiming your story.

Because betrayal does not get the final word—God does.

Go to www.loisflewelling.com or Amazon to get your copy of Freedom After Betrayal.  Also available are leader guides and participant guides for group study.  

Transcript

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Hi, I am Lois Welling. We all desire spiritual growth, but do not always know where to begin. On the New Level Await You, we provide steps to guide you into your divine assignment and reach new levels of greatness in the Lord. You'll begin to soar above every obstacle and enter into your specific assignment. So get ready to go from glory to glory as new levels await you. Hello and welcome to A New Level Awaits You. Today we begin a special series based on my book, Freedom After Betrayal. And this first episode is titled Betrayal Does Not Get the Final Word. Betrayal is one of those experiences in life that many people carry quietly. It's not something we often talk about, yet it's something almost everyone encounters at some point in their life. So before we go any further, I want to say something very clearly. Betrayal has a way of making people feel isolated. It can make you feel like nobody understands what you've gone through. But the truth is, many people carry wounds from betrayal often silently. So today I want to create a space where we can talk about this honestly and where healing can begin. So let's start with something simple but important. No one is emotionally neutral about betrayal. Betrayal affects us. Doesn't matter how strong you are, doesn't matter how mature you are, doesn't matter how long you've been walking with the Lord. When betrayal happens, it leaves an impact. Why? Because betrayal comes from someone we trusted. And it's not just what was done, it's who it came from. Sometimes betrayal happens in relationships we deeply trusted. Can happen in friendships, families, or even places where expected support and safety. It might have been a close friend, a spouse, a family member, a leader, a co-worker in a business, or even a business partner, or a leader in ministry. And this leadership betrayed you or undermined you. But overall, it's someone we've opened our hearts up to. And when that trust is broken, something inside of us shifts. Let me say this: betrayal is not just an event, it is a wound. And wounds, if left untended, don't just disappear. These wounds can affect many areas of life. They affect how we trust others, they affect how we see ourselves, and sometimes they even affect how we relate to God. People begin to ask questions like, can I trust anyone again? Was I foolish to trust in the first place? Was I not enough? Will I ever feel whole again? These are real questions. And if you've experienced betrayal, you may have asked some of them yourself. And when betrayal happens, it can leave us feeling wounded, confused, and unsure of how to move forward. Many people carry these wounds for years without even realizing how deeply they affected them. And like I said before, the reason betrayal cuts so deeply is because it comes from someone we trusted. Trust is the foundation of relationships. And when that trust is broken, it often feels as though something inside us has been pierced. Over the years in ministry, as a counselor and through personal experiences, I have come to understand that betrayal is not just an emotional experience. It is often a wound of the heart. In fact, I often describe betrayal as an arrow that pierces the heart. And when an arrow strikes, it leaves a wound. Sometimes that wound is visible, but many times the wounds of betrayal are hidden. People just continue with their lives. But deep inside, they're still carrying the pain. And those wounds can affect many areas. They affect again, like I've said. How do we really trust people again after this? What shifted inside of us that has affected even how we see ourselves? And sometimes, like I said before, it affects who is this God that would allow something like this to happen to me. We often blame God for a lot of things. But let me say this God is the one that can help us. Because an arrow doesn't just brush against you, it penetrates, it goes deep. And unless it's addressed properly, it remains. Many people today are walking around carrying arrows. Oh yeah, we've learned how to function, haven't we? We've learned how to smile. And we've learned how to move forward somewhat. But the arrow's still there. And this is what happens when the arrow remains. It affects how we trust anybody around us. Yes? All people around us at some times. It affects how we respond to people, to situations. The triggers just kind of hit us. We may flee from a place or respond out of maybe intense anger or anxiety because it's all affecting us. And like I said, it affects how we see ourselves. We might not have confidence anymore in ourselves. We might not have, we might feel really weak on the inside. And lies just kind of come at us in so many different ways. And so therefore, it affects how we relate to other people. Yes. Even those that are loyal to us and stuck with us, we even it affects how we even relate to them. And most of the time, or sometimes maybe, people don't even realize it's there. They just know. I don't trust like I used to. And I pull back when things get close. These are often the signs that something deeper is still present. So let me ask you, is there an arrow you may still be carrying? Because one of the most powerful things we can remember is this betrayal's not new. And neither is God's ability to redeem it. One of the things that has always encouraged me is that betrayal is not something new. In fact, if we look through scripture, we see that many people, God used greatly, also experienced betrayal. Let's look at a few examples. Joseph was betrayed by his own brothers, not strangers, not enemies, family. He was 17, they say, when he was sold into slavery by his brothers. He had betrayal even in many forms and fashions as he moved up the up the ladder. He was 30 years old when he interpreted Pharaoh's dreams, and he was placed in charge of Egypt. We see the span of time. In Genesis 50, 20, he said, What you meant for evil, God meant for good. And that's a powerful truth. I want to remind you, Joseph was rejected, he was sold, he was forgotten. Not once, but repeatedly, and yet God was still at work. Joseph still stepped into his destiny. How about David? David was a younger teenager, they say, around 15. He experienced betrayal from Saul, someone he served faithfully. Around 30, he became king. Later, even his own son rose up against him. Yet David continued to seek God. He poured out his heart honestly, and God sustained him. But the interesting thing about David is that he was not just betrayed, he also was a betrayer. And I address this in my book, Freedom After Betrayal. There's two sides of this. Why do we get repeatedly betrayed? And then what's going on in the betrayer that they choose to betray people? Well, David, you know what happened. He betrayed a very loyal officer for a woman. So what I want to say here with this is that he still poured out his heart honestly before God, and God sustained him. David still became king. How about Jesus? He was betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter, abandoned by others. If anybody understands betrayal, it is Jesus, I'd say. And yet, betrayal did not stop what God wanted to do. In fact, Jesus fulfilled the greatest mission of redemption the world has ever known. Well, what this shows us is something very important. Betrayal did not stop what God already had set in motion. God's plan moved forward. I've discovered that sometimes the enemy hopes that betrayal will do more than wound us. Maybe every time. He wants to use betrayal to stop us. The enemy hopes it will cause us to withdraw, to step back, and to stop moving forward in the purpose God has for our lives. We will find ourselves stepping back from relationships, from ministry, from pursuing creative ideas that we have inside. Yes, business adventures, all of that. And overall from trusting other people. I've seen people who were once full of passion and they had vision, and suddenly they became hesitant because they were wounded. They stopped trusting, they stopped stepping forward, they began protecting themselves rather than leaving, living freely. Their purpose got derailed. But the truth is this what the enemy meant to use against you, God can use for your growth and your calling. In fact, God has an incredible ability to step into places where we have been hurt and begin to bring healing. Healing doesn't always happen instantly, but it's always possible. God sees the wounds that others may not see. He understands the pain that may still linger in our hearts. And his desire is not to leave us in that wounded place. His desire is to restore. In fact, I've noticed in my own life and the lives of many others who have trusted God for healing, a stronger resolve begins to surface and a determination to pursue dreams and purpose arises again. So one of the messages I want to communicate throughout this season is that healing begins when we are willing to acknowledge the wound and invite God into it. Sometimes we just try to move forward without addressing the pain. We bury it, ignore it, or convince ourselves that it no longer matters. But wounds that are ignored rarely heal well. Healing begins when we allow God to step into the places that hurt. And when God begins that healing process, something remarkable happens. The pain that once felt overwhelming begins to lose its hold. The wounds that once defined our experiences begin to transform into places of strength and wisdom. And over time, people begin to rediscover hope. They begin to hope again. They begin to trust again. They begin to see that their story is not over. And that's why I wrote freedom after betrayal, because I've seen far too many people who believe their story ended with betrayal. But God showed me something different. He showed me that betrayal doesn't get the final word. God's healing does. God's restoration does. God's purpose does. And if you're listening today and you've experienced betrayal, I want to encourage you with your truth, with this truth. Your life is not defined by the moment somebody wounded you. Trust can be rebuilt wisely and intentionally. There is still purpose ahead. There's still healing available. And there is still a future filled with hope. Now, this is where everything begins to shift. And like I said, betrayal does not get the final word, God does. So here's something I want you to hear very clearly and deeply. Your life is not defined by who hurts you, it is defined by who God says you are. And when we understand that, when that resonates with the inside of us, we begin to realize, hey, I'm not stuck here. I can move forward into a new season. So before we close today, I want to leave you with a few questions just to reflect upon. Have you ever experienced a betrayal that still affects you today? Is there a place in your heart where trust feels difficult because of something that happened in the past? Do you still get triggered? Can't go to certain places? Or if a particular individual is in that space, you have to leave. These are all signs. These are all signs that something, there's a broken arrow inside of you, and God can come in and just remove it and heal that spot. But I want to ask you this what might healing look like for you? If you allow God to begin restoring that place, what would it look like? I know what it looks like for me, and it's not going to look the same for you as it did me. Really think about this. What might your healing look like for you? What would change? And you don't have to answer these questions immediately, but I encourage you to bring them before the Lord and allow him to begin speaking into those places. Let me just close with a word of prayer. Lord, I pray right now for every person listening today who may be carrying wounds from betrayal. You see their hearts, you know their stories, and you understand the pain they have experienced. I ask that you would begin to bring healing and restorations to those wounded places. Lord, replace pain with peace, replace fear with trust, and remind each person that their future is not defined by betrayal, but by your love and your purpose for their lives. Lord, I honor you this today. I honor what you're going to be doing in the lives of the many who listen. I honor you, Lord, because I know that you are the great healer. And you are the one that is wooing us back and calling us to give all everything over to you so that we can receive your healing and move out as mighty men and women. And I thank you, Lord, for that. In your precious name, amen. Well, I want to thank you for joining me today on a new level awaits you. And remember, no matter what season you're walking through, God is always leading you forward. He is still rewriting your story. Why? Because a new level truly does await you. In our next episode, we will talk about what happens when trust is shattered and how betrayal impacts the heart more deeply than we often realize. So I look forward to being with you next time. I want to thank you for watching and joining me on this journey as we go higher. Expect to grow, expand your territory, and enter into new levels of intimacy with the Lord. Check out my website at loisforwelling.com for books, online courses, podcasts, and other resources to help you soar in the Lord. Are you interested in increasing your confidence, being able to speak assertively, subdue your fears, manage life situations effectively, and overcome rejection or betrayal so that you can tenaciously stand back up again? Then you must sign up for a free strategy session so we can design a plan specifically for you. I now offer one-on-one coaching sessions with group sessions coming soon. My heart is to equip and make disciples and advance them into living a life more abundantly. Yes, my website is loisforwelling.com. Check it out, and I hope to be talking to you soon.