Episode 6 - Scabs & Scars

From the Thriving & Wholeness Series | A New Level Awaits You

What happens after the wound begins to close… but healing isn’t complete?

In this powerful episode, Scabs & Scars, we explore the tender and often overlooked stages of healing after betrayal. Scabs form to protect—but if we keep reopening the wound, true healing is delayed. Scars remain—but they don’t have to carry pain; they can become testimonies of God’s restoration.

Through Scripture, reflection, and practical insight, this episode uncovers how unresolved pain, hidden triggers, and unhealed places can quietly shape our identity and responses. You’ll be invited to recognize where you may still be protecting wounds instead of fully surrendering them to God’s healing process.

With truth anchored in passages like Psalm 147:3 and Isaiah 61:1, this episode will encourage you to trust God not just with the injury—but with the entire healing journey.

You are not meant to live guarded, stuck, or defined by what hurt you. Healing is not just possible—it’s promised.

Because scars are not signs of defeat… they are evidence that God restores.

🎧 This episode is part of the Thriving & Wholeness Series and connects with themes from the book Freedom After Betrayal.

Connect with Lois Flewelling
Discover books, resources, online courses, and speaking opportunities at: www.loisflewelling.com

A New Level Awaits You—step into healing, walk in wholeness, and live the life you were created for.

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Hi, I am Lois Fuelle. We all desire spiritual growth, but do not always know where to begin. On the New Level Await You, we provide steps to guide you into your divine assignment and reach new levels of greatness in the Lord. You'll begin to soar above every obstacle and enter into your specific assignment. So get ready to go from glory to glory as new levels await you. Well, welcome back to A New Level Awaits You. I'm so glad you're here today because this is a really important conversation that we will be having. We're going to step into a place where many people avoid the quiet, the hidden places of the heart, what I call bruises and pain pockets. These are places where betrayal just didn't get to pass through. It settled way in. Perhaps maybe not on the outside, but deeply felt within. You know, I've I've discovered that in my own life through an experience I had years ago where I got um attacked by a dog and I got knocked over. I became unconscious, my whole left side was affected. What I realized is that I had these what we call pain pockets all up and down my leg as a result of what happened to me. Well, you know, bruises came, but a bruises doesn't always bleed like we know, but it becomes tender, doesn't it? You know, you don't have to see it for where it is, you know, for it to hurt, because it only hurts when you touch it. Have you had those pain pocket types of uh deals? And these pain pockets, they're the places where we've tucked away experiences, we've tucked away words, we've tucked away emotions because we didn't know what to do with them at the time. You know, maybe it was too overwhelming, maybe there was no safe place to process it. So instead, we just stored it. And the challenge is this what if stored doesn't stay silent. It speaks, it shows up in our reactions, it shows up in our relationships, and the way we interpret what's happening around us. You may find yourself overreacting to something small and wonder, why did that hit me so hard? I found that every single time I happened to see a dog. I would, oh my goodness, the fear and everything would just erupt through my emotions and the anxiety that I would take on. And I'd say, why is that hitting me so hard? It's just a little tiny dog, it's it's just a little tight, little tiny bark. What is it? So sometimes, you know, we even pull back from someone who hasn't heard us or something about that moment that feels familiar. But that's often not about the present. It's a bruise that's being pressed, it's a pain pocket that is being stored. Psalms 147.3 says, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Notice that God didn't ignore the wound, he binds it, he tends to it. There is intentional in his healing, he doesn't just say move on, he says, let me touch that place. And sometimes, if we're honest, that's the part we resist. Because to him, uh touching it means we have to acknowledge it's still there. I remember uh walking with someone in counseling who had experienced betrayal years earlier, and on the surface, she was doing very well, serving, leading, even showing up for others. But there was a moment in a conversation where somebody unintentionally dismissed her opinion, and she completely shut down. Later, as we talked, she said, I don't understand why that affected me so much. But as we gently unpacked it, we realized it wasn't about the moment, it connected back to a deeper place where her voice had been dismissed repeatedly in a relationship that really mattered to her. That experience had created a pain pocket, and when something similar happens, even in a different context, it pressed on that same place. That's how bruises and pain pockets were. They're not always logical, but you know what? They are real. Proverbs 2423 tells us guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Many people hear that and think guarding means shutting down or building walls. But true guarding is not about avoidance, it's about stewardship, it's about recognizing what is in your heart and allowing God to bring healing so that what flows out of you is life, not unprocessed pain. The danger of unhealed bruises is that they can begin to shape your identity. You start to believe things like, you know, my voice doesn't really matter. People will always let me down. And you know what? Maybe I'm not even safe to be seen, or I don't want to be seen at all. These beliefs are aren't just thoughts, they are like agreements formed in the places of pain. And if they are not addressed, they become the lens through which you see everything. But here's the hope: those places are not beyond healing. Isaiah 61:1 speaks so clearly to this. He says, He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. Some pain pockets feel like captivity, don't they? You don't want to react the way you do, but it feels automatic. You don't want to carry the weight, but you don't know how to let it go. That's exactly where Jesus steps in, not with condemnation, but with freedom. Healing begins when we stop minimizing the bruise and start inviting God into it. When see, when we say, you know, Lord, that still hurts. I thought it was I was past it, but it's still tender. God, would you come and meet me here? And He does, not in a rushed way, not in a dismissive way, but with a steady, intentional healing that goes deeper than surface relief. I recall a time when I was to go to this event, and um and in this event there were some, you know, very important people. I was going with my husband, and and as soon as I walked through the door, I I looked in through and to all that were there, and something hit me. I started to have what I call a panic attack. Now, this was years ago when I was young, and I thought, what is going on right now? Now, my husband just went on in and did his thing and and was communicating with all these different people, but for me, something had triggered me, and I couldn't quite figure it out. But in that moment, before I even, as I was just standing there, I didn't, I thought, where am I gonna go sit down? Where am I gonna go that I can be um just be by myself and not have engage or anything? I just wanted to go and hide. Isn't that what we do when those triggers happen to us? And so, anyway, I called upon the Lord. I said, Lord, what's happening to me right now? This is not me, this is not typically how I react. And the Lord began to show me something that stemmed out of actually my childhood, and so I did business with that. And finally I looked over, the Lord helped me. I know he did, showed me a table to go and sit down, and I went and sat down. And in that place, people started to talk to me and say, you know, I'm so and so, and introduce him. And before we knew it, I was totally free from all of that. I had great time. I had I mixed and mingled because I allowed God to come in and meet me in that place. It was a bruise, it was a bruise from my early life, and I recognized that. But God He doesn't want us to live in those places anymore. And sometimes that healing looks like bringing truth into the lie that was formed in a moment, maybe long, long time ago, or maybe it's right now, but most of the time it's a long, long time ago that Bruce came and it's a lie that was formed. Sometimes it's releasing forgiveness, not because what happened was okay, but because you are no longer willing to let it define you. Sometimes it's simply allowing yourself to feel that you didn't have the space to feel before, knowing that God is present in it. And here's what I want you to hear today: healing is not about pretending the bruise isn't there, it's about allowing God to restore the place where it once had power. You're not too broken, you're not too late, and those pain packets, they are not permanent. God is not intimidated by the place you've hidden. He already has seen them, and he's inviting you into a deeper level of healing, one that doesn't just cover the bruise, but removes the tenderness so that when life presses in again, it no longer controls your response. So today I want to ask you gently where are the bruises? What pain pockets have you been carrying that you've learned to live around rather than live free from? Take a moment, let the Holy Spirit bring one to your attention and instead of pushing it away, simply say, Jesus, I'm gonna welcome you here. I'm gonna welcome you into this place, into this space. Because healing doesn't happen in avoidance, it happens in his presence. And as you continue the journey, remember this you're not defined by what wounded you, you're being restored by the one who heals you. So I pray that this whole um episode today on bruises and pain pockets really has helped you to recognize this, recognize some things in your own life where you can get some more freedom because that's what it's all about, isn't it? It's about freedom, it's about you know wholeness, it's about okay, let's take care of these places that I've lived in for so long, and I don't want to live there anymore. So I know that there's always more from Jesus. That's there's more places he wants to take you to. I'm talking about good places, your assignments, your gifting, your your thought life. He's got great and mighty things in store for you. So why don't you just take those places, those bruises and pain pockets, and allow God to begin healing, healing in those hidden spots. I want to thank you for watching today or for listening. And I and I thank you that God is with you, He is for you, He's got great things in store for you. He wants to pull you out of that captivity, like Isaiah 61 talked about. He wants to set you free from whatever prison you are in, and that's my declaration over you today. May God set you free, pull you out of whatever captivity or prison that you still are kind of caught up in because he's a good, good God and he loves you deeply.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

So we will talk to you next time.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

I want to thank you for watching and joining me on this journey as we go higher. Expect to grow, expand your territory, and enter into new levels of intimacy with the Lord. Check out my website at loisforwelling.com for books, online courses, podcasts, and other resources to help you soar in the Lord. Are you interested in increasing your confidence, being able to speak assertively, subdue your fears, manage life situations effectively, and overcome rejection or betrayal so that you can tenaciously stand back up again? Then you must sign up for a free strategy session so we can design a plan specifically for you. I now offer one-on-one coaching sessions with group sessions coming soon. My heart is to equip and make disciples and advance them into living a life more abundantly. Yes, my website is loisfelling.com. Check it out, and I hope to be talking to you soon.